Jmstl-let's get to DBing-Part 4

[Jmstl]

I'm not absolutely sure of the difference either, but I'll take a stab:

The WAS has a longer build-up or lead-in time. The spouse is unhappy for an extended period of time. Eventually gives up on the complaining, which can lead to the other spouse thinking everything is fine. The WAS picks a time in the future to leave, then springs it on the other spouse.

MLC is more tied to the mid-life transition. More stable people/relationships handle this self-questioning, and keep on trucking. Others end up blowing up their marriage. I think MLC can be influenced by an extended bad R, which can make it similar to WAS. Some have said MLC is tied to depression. I think MLC would have more wild behavior associated with it. I think MLC has more of a "fog" aspect to it, and would have a longer resolution time. MLC usually has a trigger event. This is all from memory and could be wrong. I don't think WAS or MLC has much of a difference in DB techniques.

Thanks, Kylo. My main reason for asking was to figure out if there were different DB techniques for WAS vs MLC.

It is still hard for me to pinpoint which it is.

I think my detachment has been getting a little bit better everyday. But this morning I was seething with anger bc of how this is going to affect the children in the long term. W was always so worried about 'messing up the kids' and I really feel that this will. 'Maybe not in some sort of bad behavior sort of way' but shaping their world view, and telling them that it is okay to just walk away from commitments and people when things get rough. My friend who left her husband and I were talking the other day, and she said that W will be going through phases.

I asked what some were.

The show him I am good without him stage
The I don't care
The I can find someone better
The I am doing it alone
The I am very lonely
The I need him back
The I was wrong and made mistakes
The will he take me back.

Time will tell if any of these actually pan out.