Limerence and My Situation Pt3

[Parkema]

Hello All,

Just keep posting.

It would seem everything has settled down into some kind of normality, WW and I are basically no more now than two people who just happened to have children together her focus is totally on her needs and that of her AP/LO.
I am happier now than I have been since the BD, GAL’ing and realising this situation is totally controlled by her is helping me move forwards.

I’m beginning to understand there is little I can do to influence the outcome so why bother she’ll either stay in the fog or come out of it, I feel planning for the future (not years ahead but weeks) keeps my PMA up I can start to plan days out with the boys knowing I have them and then GAL’ing for myself when I don’t.

Totally dropping the rope is unfortunately not an option for me due to both needs to be a part of our children’s lives we must all realise the time we’re NOT with our children can never be given back and I don’t intend to be half a father allowing someone else influence their upbringing. I would love to totally separate from WW but the situation does not allow this as we need to DOPU kids every day and will always be a time where there is face-to-face.

Our interactions are now very much business like always civil and fleeting, this is becoming the norm and I’m slowly getting accustomed to this type of R a shame really after 12-years of us being each other’s BF. It never ceases to amaze me how a WW can so quickly see their BS as nothing more than a hindrance in their lives but this is classical phase 2 of the limerent process.

Anyway what’s working –?
1. Detachment – face-to-face can now be measured in minutes not hours per week.
2. NC – absolutely no contact from me and will be no contact from me unless in case of emergencies.
3. GAL – hiking the peak district last week was great, I forget the beauty UK has within its shores also challenging.
4. 180 – staying away from home overnight, NEVER did this when together (well once but that was a stag due) this is having a major impact in her thinking. WW feels there is now someone else in my life which is completely untrue I love my WW and MR and those vows I said still mean a great deal to me.
5. Exercise – great as an anti-depressant can’t state this enough.

I feel I’ve had a bit of an epiphany where I now realise that this is my life for the foreseeable future, I’ve been give the worst experience in my life by the same person who gave me the best and is something I have to live with but the time will be used to better myself and CONTINUE to fight for what’s right trying to RC and bring my family back together it’s just that now I can face the inevitable knowing I continue to do everything in my power to succeed but will be okay either way.

I will keep posting IF something interesting crops up and will also stalk the boards and comment if I feel I’m worthy.

Thanks.

Mark.