Oh my goodness Maybell, it's incredible to read your post...wow!!
I'm really enjoying my running. I started earlier in the year. I still can't run very far or very fast, but the other day I managed 8k (3k in the morning and 5k in the evening, jogging one minute, walking 25/30 seconds). Without stopping, I can run a mile (1.6k). This from someone who couldn't even run for the bus last year.
*Very* occasionally it feels really good as I'm doing it, and very occasionally it feels like the biggest effort known to man. Most of the time it feels like a lot of hard work and very repetitive.
I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that your D might benefit a lot from you doing the meditations. There's nothing more wonderful than being in the presence of someone who is very grounded and present when you are going through some sort of turmoil, someone who feels very solid and strong.
But I'm always glad I've done it, and I *always* feel better for doing it. It's a good training for your mind too. Whenever I feel bit rubbish about a situation I'm in, something that someone (STBXH etc) has said or done, or a mood I'm in, I'll put everything on hold and go for a run (even just a 10 or 20 minute one). That changes everything.
I have a free app on my phone that I track my runs on, and I can see my times improving and my distances getting longer even when it just feels like plain old hard work most of the time. If you've not got one, I can totally recommend it. I have a Windows phone and use Runners+
