New to the journey and thank you.

[Kylo]

So this morning we actually talked for a few minutes. Salient points are that she wants to get a mediator because she can't figure out the D paperwork and doesn't trust me to do it/help. We didn't come to any kind of agreement on this, so I imagine I will just leave this alone. I don't think she understands that we will still need to divide things up.

She said she needs someone to fight for her, and started tearing up. She said I would try to give her as little as possible.

I told her she really needs to get a job first, since so much hinges on that and how much it pays. Then everything else can fall into place. Plus she can build up a little war chest.

Overall I did a good job of validating and told her how she would be great at the job I found in her field. I realized that I actually have done this whole validation thing in the past whenever we discussed things calmly (a rare occurrence). It felt familiar, so I didn't have to really try. Once we started getting into heated arguments, however, I argued like a lawyer in cross-examination.

She agreed to changing the beneficiary on the life policy from her to a trust for the kids, so things still seem to be reasonable.

Nothing really got accomplished though. She will have to actually put some time aside and talk to me for this to get anywhere, and she doesn't want to do that.