25yearsMLC 10 Years Later I FILE D part 6

[25yearsmlc]

25, you are wonderful, strong, and resilient. You'll get thru this. Take it one step at a time.

If you aren't happy with your lawyer, if she's not aggressive enough for you, change. Talk to the partner. You need someone you see eye to eye with.

Talking to h does no harm. Don't agree to anything, and mostly listen. But remember, he's full of $hit.


Jim, thanks for stopping by. Changing lawyers now for me is too pricey at this point. I'm nearing the finish line, or going to trial, and starting all over with a new L And going to trial could cost upwards of $100K. The partner is not absent from the case, just advisory but willing to take over completely for a higher hourly rate.

Since he and my primary L work together I don't feel the need to switch to him officially. And btw, in court I've prevailed twice. It's enforcing it that troubles me and in the L's defense, h plays dirty.

My plan is to ask my CFP friend to come up with present value of a lump sum versus 5 years of alimony

(for a 35 year m he should applaud me)

and giving my L that number. Also, b/c of some overly complicated (for this site ) issues with military pensions and possible disability of h (for tinnitus and sleep apnea, not exactly an amputation & don't get me started on that )

I could lose some money down the road, forever. THAT piece is for my L to work out or for me to risk - and factor in.

There are arrearages and marital assets h "forgot" to give me, insurance policies he cancelled in violation of the rulings, etc. He may end up balking and storming out.

Thing is, I don't trust myself at the moment. I have not known about OW for very long, or the depth of the money issues until about a month ago. And cutting off our d20 for college and not speaking to the kids -- Jesus,

but it's all water under the bridge.

Still, realistically, it would be a real challenge for me not to say anything about that when h invariably plays the victim

It would be hard for me not to blurt out a flurry of spew.

Own, I know what you mean about just calling h, but my brother is smart and realistic and he's no friend of h's and it might help us...I'm not ready to dump MY L's.

Maybe h doesn't feel like hiring another one for HIM. He had one in Alaska (which cost a h $5k for them to say "we are not licensed where 25 filed, so...see ya, Oh, and pay up!")


Oh, and h's call to my brother did not mention or make me think he means a recon. It was about money and not forking it over to L's.

If I interpret it correctly, h's feeling sorry for HIMSELF due to the losses HE is experiencing, not for the sorrow for damage he inflicted.

Sigh...I'm suddenly exhausted. Weird.