East, I know most of us here were tough on you about your GF situation, but I think your STBXW is one of the biggest cuckoos on this site (and I think that is saying a lot, my H is pretty nuts).
She clearly gave no thought to the fact that just as she was moving on with some guy that you would do the same and there would be some other woman in your Ds life. Sounds like serious buyer's remorse. I recall telling my H this very situation about a year ago. His response, I trust that you would only be with quality people and you have to trust the same (hello, no way).
I can't imagine how difficult this is for you since she is constantly minimizing the efforts you have made all these years for your D. Given that you've been with her since 3 months, how can she even say that. Babies sleep the first three months.
You may want to talk to your IC about whether your D is old enough to hear that you chose to become her daddy. It would likely be far better to hear it from you in a loving way. I have no doubt that your STBXW will say this to her at some point in an effort to hurt your or simply being clueless about how your daughter would feel about hearing it.
Kudos to you for standing by your daughter when it would be so easy to walk away from this chaos. She needs that anchor in her life as your STBXW flaps in the wind.
