Got some news late last week. Don't want to post about it until after court, this Friday. Pretty much what I was thinking/expecting, but having it confirmed was "nice."
After not seeing STBXW for over a month, I've seen her three times in a week. It's jarring. She's back to yelling at/blaming me via text, then started being "nice" again which has typically meant I'm being set up for something or she wants something.
STBXW showed up for "grandparents tea" at school on Friday, along with MIL. That's the first school event she's attended in 2017 other than D's birthday party the day after BD. D was really happy on Friday, it was great to see. I was there to drop off fundraising stuff and talk to the school counselor about D. Didn't want to run into STBXW but I also don't have a lot of time to stop by school, so whatever. When I saw STBXW she grabbed the fundraiser order form and looked it over, asked for the catalog (which I dind't have) etc. After I left, I started getting texts, about making her feel bad, because I didn't ask her to participate in the fundraiser. I said I figured D would have told her about it, and that she could stop by the office, I'm sure they had extra order forms and a spare catalog. So then I get some spew about she's her mother and just because "you have a girlfriend you're already planning to marry" doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings, and it makes her feel like **** that I didn't ask her to help with the fundraiser, and she should be used to it by now." Then more spew about how I act like I'm the better parent, but I should remember "who was the one that she was there since she was born" and that me "stepping up because she was depressed" isn't all that great and that if I did that while she was there, maybe she wouldn't have ended up depressed.
I feel like [censored]. I get texts like that sometimes that make me feel like I'm being written out. Like I'm not D's father in her mind. That she wants to replace me in that role with OM, and that's just fine because I'm not her "real" dad. I'm ok with STBXW living with OM (who moved here from Florida). I'm ok with them playing family every weekend. I'm ok with OM acting like D's stepdad (apparently they made cookies together this weekend) though I feel like it's a bit soon for that, and her hypocrisy irritates me. But the feeling that STBXW is trying to outright replace me as D's father rather than just her husband is really bothering me. It hurts. Really, really badly. I didn't think she could hurt me anymore, but she found a way. I was only dating STBXW for a few weeks before she started telling three month old D that I was her daddy. I imagine she's laying the groundwork for doing the same thing now, and is upset that she can't. I'm waiting for the day, which I expect in the near future, when D asks me, "Daddy, mommy said you're not really my daddy, what does that mean?" I hate it. I hate it so much. It hurts like hell.
And then she goes back to being nice. She brought D by the house on Saturday, apparently was in the area and D wanted to see me. Actually called first and asked if it was ok rather than just showing up. When I said I didn't feel well, she acted concerned, asked what was wrong, and if I'd been taking medicine or been to the doctor. It's sad, but all of that makes me suspicious.
I figured I'd get to spend a few minutes with D, give her a hug, and then they'd go about their day. It was a disaster, D freaked out and didn't want to leave. She was tired which was part of it, but I was put in the situation of having to put her in the car and put her seatbelt on her while she was crying "daddy, I want to stay with you." I felt an inch tall.
