Oldtimer 4 years and counting

[Citygrl]

Thank you for your responses. I have been writing on everyone else's posts when I should be getting advice not trying to give it.

While I was away, I face timed husband as he was texting again in very minute panic about me now foregoing mediation. Conversation started very businesslike and told him after six months of him failing to disclose finances and his lawyer not responding to mine, I needed to protect myself.

Sometimes I always slip into the conversation that I don't get why the delay as he is the one that filed and then went for the Nisi, etc. I am always extraordinarily calm and professional. No emotion. Anyway told him what was happening and I haven't ruled out mediation but the courts would force deadlines.

Didn't tell him that I didn't really like the Mediator and was afraid New Ukrainian girlfriend was going to end up pregnant. Takes a lot for me to keep that kind of stuff in.

Conversation than turned to small talk where he told me he " ended his relationship with OW2". Of course I knew why and how it ended and he didn't mention new Ukrainian. How am I supposed to react to that info? Why does he feel the need to tell me? After a moment of silence (his trick that I am adapting) I just said something along the lines of I don't really care about that.

Conversation than turned to his parents, how "busy" he is at work (sick of hearing it) and then really fun conversation where we laughed a lot like old times. At the very end of the conversation he said how it was really nice to talk.

I hung-up not upset or confused but conflicted. Feel like he looks to me for affirmation that I can't give because as a boundary for me I can't get sucked back in to being his bestie when he is off with other women. He kind of treats me like a mother. Ick.

That is the crux of it. I have tried to be his friend but cannot reconcile doing that when he then takes OW on fab vacations and stays where we stayed, etc.

He/we are/were really good friends with his ex wife and her husband and that is not the same mutual break-up of marriage we had. He needs to be liked and I know carries so much guilt about what he did but not enough to want to change.

Could never tell the difference between cake eating and his need to be liked. There were times when he would come over and do things around the house and we would cook things for each other but going NC doesn't faze him either. I get no reading on him. Same with divorce. He files then it drags and then he does something. Soooooo confused. Any ideas?