New to the journey and thank you.

[Holding]

Kylo, I think you did well at the wedding. I imagine it's a very difficult occasion to sit through while your own M seems on the way out. I'm an introvert too, so I can sympathize.

-Also she brought up a Borderline trait I missed: Object Constancy. Basically my current attitude toward my W is "THE" way I feel about her. She doesn't consider that I made a marriage commitment, or maybe I was an amazing H last week. all that matters is the current state of affairs, and that becomes how things "always" are. I used to say that she lives in a microcosm. whatever happened this week is what always happens. This also explains how she could feel I was using her for sex. My commitment to her didn't register. My track record of trying to save it for marriage didn't mean anything. It is flipping amazing that all this was there and I had no clue.

Reading this blew me away. My STBXW is just like this, and I never realized this was a sign of BPD. Thinking back, when we had M problems in the past, my STBXW always seemed to extend the timeframe in her mind. So if we fought last week, all of a sudden it would become "this past month". Man, this is a good realization, I just wish it hadn't come so late.