I've always wondered why you use BD for divorce. I think to most folks it is Bomb Drop. Are you meaning Big D? Perhaps if you just said D it would be easier, but maybe I'm the only one that gets tripped up on that.
You still have so much emotion. I think for you leaving things to the lawyers would be best. If I recall, there has been at least one physical altercation and given that and the obvious feelings involved, it does seem like it would be the safest course of action for all of you.
Please stop trying to talk to her if she doesn't want to talk. Also keep in mind that the battle over texts in the courtroom is probably going to be prohibitively expensive. I'd stop texting the woman and only email. Write every email as though the judge is reading it and introducing it into evidence. Don't send long, run-on emails. No more than 3 sentences. Keep it brief, informative, factual and friendly. Limit each email to a single topic (that way if an email does show up in litigation, it is limited to the topic at issue which will save time and money in the case).
Remember that lawyers bill by the hour (actually I bill in 8 minute increments) so try not to contact the lawyer too much or drag them into every little thing.
Act like a single dad and try to cut back on the interactions, keep them as neutral as possible, and try really hard to remember that you loved this person at one time and that your S will love her no matter what. Focus on dignity for your own peace of mind.
