You say you can't afford a lawyer. I say you can't afford NOT to have a lawyer. A consultation should be minimally expensive, and will let you know what rights you have, especially with regard to custody and retrieving half of the money in the bank account.
Believe none of what they say and half of what they do. She is no longer the person you fell in love with, and there's no point in trying to understand her reasons, because she's crazy. "It's all YOUR fault," crazy, and there's no talking sense into her.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17