Picking up her mess...

[marina7]

I posted in MLC as newcomers hoping to get more answered Question on Here as I am trying to make sense of this Crisis my wife going through.
I honestly can say my wife has died but I still can see her if this makes sense to ya, I physically see her but she is someone else. Here is my story...

Hello am New in here,I been reading everyone post for the last 3 months trying to understand or in my head I thought things where going to go back to normal. Wishful thinking... Also we are a lesbian couple with 3 amazing kids 2 sons and a daughter.

My story started around April 20th we before that had an amazing life by all means not perfect but close to perfect. W was getting ready to go out again I notice she was changing slowly but I also was use to her having girls night out so on this day I ask the same question I have ask for 10yrs "where you going" but on this day was the day she said J I am no longer in love, it literally caught me off guard I of course started crying and pleading not to leave that night. Yes I did all the mistakes I shouldn't have even getting on my knees. Well now I sit here and remember she had no reaction at all. This was once a women who adore me she sent me a text days before that saying she loves us so much.

So I at first did all the mistakes, asking her what I could do to make us better her reply Nothing we are done.
Then couple days later I again ask why how come she said her exact words,
I gave you almost 10yrs I lost myself for the last 10 yrs it's been about you and the kids, I need to do me and love myself again and for once live for me. When I see myself I can't even see myself I lost myself.

So I ask is this temporary or do you need time or what's going happen. W replied am moving out I already found a condo so my alert went up log in to bank account. W has withdrew all our saving $20,000 I was in disbelief.

Let's rewind in 2015 I got hurt at work and been off and on at work I just had major back surgery so I was financially making sure we saved up before another major surgery.

I confronted her and her reply is my money. Huh?!?! I mean we both have always work. So now am panicking W has a condo already took all the money I was furious I felt this was all plan I was confused as how not even a week before we talked about adopting a foster child we even did all the classes. From May till June all she did was go out come home whenever even sleeping away from home for the first time.

While I kept S8,S9 and D9 busy making sure they didn't get hurt because W was becoming verbal abuse always cursing and screaming from even saying we ruined her life she didn't even want this life but she did it to make me Happy. W said I could have been retiring this year from military. Oh yeah she was a Marine for 8yrs btw this is before we even met she left the Marine corps in 2006 we met October 2007 so not sure why I got blamed. But she felt she needed to tell me that it was my fault she not traveling the world like some of her friends are from the Marine corps which they don't have kids.

Well she left leaving us with no money and no explanation just she no longer in love in fact she never loved me at all.

Unfortunately I was living this fantasy world she was staying somewhere and she just needed time. My kids are confused where is mommy. And our lease was up on July I of course beg and cried and ask what was i going to do when lease was up and we have no where to go. W reply oh well figure it out. Wow is all could have said while an emotional wreck. And our kid's asking. I text her like a million times ask why, what's going on did she meet someone andI never got replied. So here I am recovering from surgery, and mayor back surgery schedule for June.

The first month she took clothes not all through the month of June she only took her clothes and jewelry and her bar I builded years ago and a stereo.

By July it hit me when she pick children's up and they went to her condo and she still hasn't giving me the address my kids say they only have a bed and sheets and nothing else in there room. I ask her after dropping off do I need to pack somethings up for there room. W replied Nope. My kids are now seeing her monster side she has them like little soldiers cleaning, mopping floor literally is all they do my children's tell me.

Now is July am packing a home and wondering what I did. By now I still didn't have anywhere to go am scared. W would not call or text for days not even to check on our kids. She by now has told me everything from,

I ruined her life
I am controlling
She hates me
How she wish I would leave state
How she can't stand looking at me
I was her biggest mistake literally if you thought about it she said it even in one of blackouts I call it, that she wish I would have died when I had a seizure in 2015 I literally fell in concrete and smashed my face on the ground I lost 5 front teeth this tell you it was a grandmal seizure. When she said this to me that day something inside of me died, how can someone wish death on someone they adored once but how can someone just say.

I started to worry W eyes where not the person I knew I felt I was looking at a Alien big black eyes, W has hazel eyes they where not light anymore.

I started searching of all these signs I Google it and yelp the first time I seen MLC I was shock W was 36 was about to be 37. I started financially removing her from my CC but May,June and july she spend 5,000 on my CC and remember she took over 20,000 so why use my CC. W of course scream and yelled how she was buying things and all CC she had where declined I explained I closed account she was furious. W says this is why we will never get back together because you try to control me. I by now been reading MLC how they like to cause chaos. I said we are not together they my CC I need to make sure kids and I are not living in the streets I need to make sure I have my CC because that's the only way. W respond Oh well.

By August I have a little home nothing to what I was living our life was flip out while she lives in a condo a new condo btw. We live in a little old home but I was ok as long am with my kids. So by now she would go weeks no text or calling and when she did all about Money and bills ect never about kids. I ask myself how can anyone walk away from everything they built in a family.

I also don't understand how can she leave everything behind from military awards, very important paperwork I mean she left everything behind I still have her birth certificate and ss ect.

By now kids and I settling and taking it a day at a time.
So 3 weeks ago she took our first s9 saying she needs him with her she separated our children's now am being ask by s8 and d9 why only him why she doesn't love them. I explain mommy loves you mommy going through a hard time.

Now she has killed me inside me not understanding why, I have no money to hire lawyer and Illinois law changed for child support and who they live with is a 50/50 now doesn't matter what parent. Again recap we adopted all 3, I know that s9 is more quite and in his world compared to s8 and d9 they are very out spoken. And W says they spyon her lol all I can do is laugh because our kids now spyon her I been accused of recording her and hired a PI to watch her. I ask myself how canI you didn't leave me money I have barely money to buy food.

A week ago she sends me an email to sign, she wrote her own custody plan. I didn't sign and now have to figure out how to get a lawyer to get my s9 home with us. Because they are siblings you just can't take what you want like they are property or an item. Again she goes days no text.

There's day she will be a nice person, 4 days ago she called saying how are you how you feeling, I replied a day at a time she was crying saying she going through a tough time emotionally I have said before this is what you wanted. And other days she will say this is why we will never get back together what I notice is when she doesn't get her way the monster comes out saying, This is why we never ever get back I can't f***** stand you. I have heard this over a thousand time we will never get back together.

W has lost weight goes to gym gets her nails done always shopping and lighting her hair again it feels like a strange in front of me. W is buried on her phone we don't make eye contact she always in la la la la land.

And W has new friends everything she doing is like her becoming a new person. I don't see her in social media or liking anyone pictures. I wonder is she still friends with her old friends or family because I haven't seen anyone not even my MIL is like they care less what there daughter doing. I feel we where abandoned by everyone. It slowly breaking me I wonder where did I go wrong, how can this be happening. But I have no answer, all of her friends are our friends and nobody is reaching out. I am alone in Illinois no family. I moved here 10yrs ago for her and now look where am at. Alone.....

I have tried everything to see if I see a sign but all I see is someone else not my W.

Sorry so long there's so much more but I think ya know how MLC spouse are and she is literally a monster to me and kids.

I also believe there could be OW romantic with but when I ask W laughs and says what should I care she is a single women and could date who the hell she wants...


Me,39
W,37
children's S9 D9 and S8
Together 2007
Separated May 2017
Moved out June 2017