W and I have had a really great day together today, which made for a genuinely pleasant birthday. Kayaking, minimal R talk, lots of friends around (all couples).
Our religious leader was at a social gathering, he knows parts of what's going on from me, and spent some time 1:1 with W talking about the importance of looking past the challenges of what's immediately in front of us. She has a ton of respect for him, he genuinely touches her heart. There will be opportunities to build on this later.
R talk was very muted. Last week I resolved a financial problem that has been a festering problem and source of anxiety and stress in our R. We talked about it a little bit, esp how I solved it. Lots of blame directed at me, my parts I owned and apologized for, but also acknowledgement and appreciation that I fixed it. She also asked more about the business, opened up about some career aspirations of hers...all was shockingly positive. I did a lot of validating, or at least tried to (it's actually really hard to do right, esp in the moment).
None of this may mean anything, Sandi and 25yearsmlc may have a point of view on that...but I do like that we can have a really nice day without all the crap.
BTW none of this precludes GAL activities. I am going to do those regardless. It's better for me, and by extension, better than everyone.
