A fresh start? (probably not!)

[CW2017]

previous thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2755930&page=1

Hi all
decided to start a new thread on account of the fact that I am in quite a chilled state after a really relaxing holiday where we got on really well, this coming on the back of our 20th anniversary celebrations which was greatly appreciated on the W's part. This all means that (and this is my choice), if things are still going on at work, to be quite honest I am just going to let them get on with it (for now, in the "marathon" context) and wait for any slipups, my daughter now being the main priority (especially as she is having problems at school). So there will be no direct snooping on my part as my mental health is also now of vital importance as I am about to change teams at work, i.e. a new job.

My main questions now are more general. The marriage counselling has continued and we have just finished the sessions where we have talked about our histories, family backgrounds, etc. From now on we have been asked to steer the sessions ourselves. So I would appreciate any advice on which points to raise. I don't think it would serve any purpose to state that I think the affair is still going on (I have previously stated in an earlier session that it would be naive to assume that two people in the workplace would suddenly stop especially as I knew how deep it was, although I couldn't of course state the last bit!).

I am more interested in stating that I am now looking forward to the future. I have made a herculean effort this year (e.g. I now put her needs first in the bedroom, not surprisingly she told the MC that s** had never done anything for her previously, which I now see is the reason for its infrequency previously, mind you that was still a shock!). I want to guard against repeat episodes and establish if I did indeed contribute to my W choosing an affair due to her having lost respect for me, I think that really needs to come out into the open. Any other potential questions would be much appreciated!

thanks again

PS I should also add that she is going away on a course in a couple of weeks so I will have to assume at this stage that this is legitimate.