My ex definitely had MLC (twice - when he turned 40 and then as he was approaching 50).
But it was only later that I came to realize that he was also a narcissist, and that much of what went on in our marriage was related to that. And that it's possible that there were more infidelities than I realized at the time.
Sometimes it takes a while for the rose colored glasses to come off and to see our exes as they really were. At the same time, not everything was bad - I got a lot of good years out of my marriage, maybe more than most people get, and I try to make an effort to remember that.
As for being cordial with my ex - honestly, if he only hadn't been such a jerk in relation to the kids after our divorce, I'd have been inviting him and his wife to Thanksgiving dinner by now. But his behavior since our divorce was settled, has pretty much eliminated any such possibility. I keep my interactions with him to the very very bare minimum. It's been months since I even had to have an email from him and that's how I like it.
