Definitely hear what your saying with the "why" questions. That was definitely me. Probably ruined some things. But my W would try to manipulate the situation by saying ahe was changing her mind about me. But convientlu that would change when I called her out on her dirt. what's to call out? If she declares that she doubts your changes are real, so what? If they are real, time will reveal that. HER view of your work is not the goal of your change.
Besides, the "math" of it is consistent change + sufficient time = change that will be believed.
Plus most of my "why" were for improvement purposes, so I could know where I went wrong. But I realized that my W was just pulling excuses out of her a** that made no sense whatsoever. who knows why? You are again asking why she did something!
(No longer asking why may be a goal but it's really hard to do, isn't it?)
So would you say that it was too late for me considering that my W has moved out already?
Tread, first, no it's not too late -
and second, in my experience it's more likely to repair and restore a marriage after being apart.
Being "sep" in the same house rarely works. There are more reconciliation stories of couples who got some time apart & learned a few things, than there are of those who remained under the same roof.
For one, it is much harder to notice changes in our spouse when they are there in your face on a daily basis.
For people who only see each other at the child hand off for instance, all you have to do is look and be and act your best for 5 minutes! Much easier to pull it off, including the "act as if" and the "GAL/PMA"...when it's not draining you.
Plus detachment is exponentially harder, so the tensions often lead to more conflict, not less.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
