Update. Last night the W finally talked to me about her plans. She signed a 1 year lease on an apartment and will move in the first week of October. She told me that there is no OM and there never has been one.
My life got much better after my W moved out. I was never able to confirm she had OM but I have always suspected it. I asked my W twice before she moved out and did some snooping but did not find anything. Mine signed a 1 yr lease as well.
Alright. you have your work cut out for yourself. Go lose that weight, read up on some good stuff, and learn that guitar so that you can find some jammin' buddies and start a band and go play some dive bars and get macked on by ladies....
Oh and buy a sweet new leather jacket and take that bike out more!
You have listed so many things that you like that you shouldn't have time to spare for her.
Also, it got hella easier once my W moved out - for GAL, detachment, and working on myself. Look forward to it because there is no shortcut here to achieving happiness - you need your own time.
So the W is acting very strange since she dropped the I'm moving out bomb 2 days ago. Yesterday she tells me that she took a half day at work so she could run errands. She arrived home at 9pm saying how tired she was from running around. I asked her if she got everything done and she said she probably left some things out. I'm assuming these are things related to her move but she never divulged any information. Then she says she's treating herself to going out to the movies for the new Reese Witherspoon flick. Invites me to come along and offers to pay. I say no that I've got other things to do which turns into a "this is exactly what I'm talking about, you never want to do anything" speech. So I go along and let her pay partially because I wanted to see her actually spend money on me for once. We get home and she's nice as could be to me and in an excellent mood. This morning I wake up to her singing and smiling. This is the first smile I've seen in weeks if not months. Before I leave for work she follows me around the house talking about the hurricane and other news, etc. I practically tripped over her as I go to leave the house. Now hours later she's sent me at least a dozen random texts.
Is she celebrating because:
1) I'm still on the hook? 2) She's cake eating? 3) She feels better because she finally came clean about moving out soon? 4) She's a whack job?
BD: 5/28/17 "We're like roommates, there is no passion anymore" Early October she is moving out so she can "think about what she really wants in life" 10/22/17 She's gone
The moment as joejoe1 put it continues. Yesterday she was talking about us taking a vacation together next summer and how she had a strategy for working together on paying down bills. She no longer seems upset with me at all. I'm not delusional enough to think this anything more than a passing moment but it's a welcome relief.
BD: 5/28/17 "We're like roommates, there is no passion anymore" Early October she is moving out so she can "think about what she really wants in life" 10/22/17 She's gone
Yup, you're on the roller coaster. Take in the scenery but know things can change the next second and so hold on to your equilibrium and sense of peace.
I meant to say you are not going to be able to figure out what she is thinking. Right now you are probably confused by her actions. My wife was nice a few days and I got suckered in and pushed out again a few days later. Sandi2 and 25 gives the best advice for this area. If your wife has truly returned she will fell remorse and apologize. She will start chasing you. You still need to GAL, give her space and maybe you can give up a little bit and see how she act. If she starts rejecting then go back to DBing.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
The niceties and "us" talk continues. I told my counselor about it yesterday. He basically said that these are signs that she's considering reconciliation but nothing more than that.
He also stated that I confuse my wife because I don't react the way that she thinks I will. He thinks that her P/A and some of her anger towards me is a poor attempt to see passion from me. He stated that in many ways she is behaving like a teenager.
He also stated that she might see my beta behavior as apathy and that is why she thinks that I don't love her. I thought all along that her P/A behavior was to get me angry so that she has a good reason to justify her wanting to leave.
While his theories are interesting, they are indeed educated guesses at this point.
BD: 5/28/17 "We're like roommates, there is no passion anymore" Early October she is moving out so she can "think about what she really wants in life" 10/22/17 She's gone
I must be starting to detach because recently I've started to realize the role that I've played in my W's desire to walk away. I'm quite certain based on my actions that she has felt alone for quite some time. In this instance is the 180 to show my commitment to her and the M or to continue getting further away?
BD: 5/28/17 "We're like roommates, there is no passion anymore" Early October she is moving out so she can "think about what she really wants in life" 10/22/17 She's gone
