LRT is my 180

[AvgGuy]

Hello, new member here.
Hope I didn't find DR too late.
Writing to document my DB efforts. Open to advice also.

I've got a WW (MLC?) after M 28 very good years.

Back in April/May W complained about work schedule leaving little time for personal/friend time. She immediately started going out most every evening with 'work people', coming home quite late, weekend at a friends/sister's, etc. By late May I had sniffed out the A and confronted her. She admitted. ILYBNIL. Throughout June and into July more of the same behavior. Hardly ever around when I was there. Stopped by house periodically in my absence to see both Ds and get her things. She formally moved out late July.

During this time and up until late August I was the poster child for what NOT to do, and prob broke 3/4 of Sandi's rules. Clingy, needy, pleading, notes, texts, date-setting efforts to talk, etc. Most of my efforts in the past month were centered around setting a date to talk about R. The set date would approach and W would kick the can. Happened several times. I was mopey/despondent/depressed all the while.

Found DR by accident last weekend (early Sept). Read it thru a couple times in as many days. Much in DR I hadn't considered before. Worth a try at this point.

As luck would have it, I had actually gotten W to agree to commit to talk about R finally. (I had threatened that if she didn't show, I would take that as her final answer and file for D.) That talk was scheduled for today.

However, earlier in the week after considering how to start my DBing, I decided I would do a 180 at the meeting and suggest just going out to eat, movie, or something fun instead. But then I realized I was really in LRT territory, so I texted and cancelled the meeting two days ago and went dark. So, here's the guy who was pressing and pressing to talk for months suddenly not wanting to talk after all.

Well, yesterday my phone blew up. W tried to call maybe 20 times. Cell, office, even coaxed D20 to call on her behalf, I later found out. Me: ignore, ignore, ignore. Then a text comes. "If you don't call me immediately, I'll never speak to you again." Me: ignore.

Silence in the 24 hours since that text.

By chance, I had already started some GAL before reading DR, just to help my anxiety. But now I'm increasing my GAL efforts. Church group, dinner w friends, exercise. Still need a hobby. I had enjoyed investing but that's on hold right now as we have separated some finances and I've got to watch what I spend closely. (She is the primary breadwinner.)

So that's where I've been and where I am. Let's see what happens...