The expensive gifts? They started a little after something fairly significant had happened with STBXH (emotionally).
The disregard/disrespect for my health? Well, I had that too. I hurt my back while he was working away and I was staying with him (this was about 11 months before he finally ran away). It was pretty bad...it was six months before I was better from it, although I'm still suffering the health consequences of it, a number of years on. I later found out when I was at physio that a guy that had something similar to me had been in hospital on a morphine drop.
Anyway, so there I was, about 10 days into this whole horrendous experience that was to drag on months and months. I was away from home and staying with him while he was working on something. There was a Christmas party. I said I would go along, as long as we could leave not too late.
Bearing in mind, I was in **a lot** of physical pain, hadn't been able to lie in bed to sleep since it had started, had managed to 'sleep' sitting upright in a chair for a few hours a night, I made it to I think it was either midnight by that point. I said to him that I wanted to go home.
What did he do? He disappeared (with the one key that we had to our accommodation) for another couple of hours. I tried phoning him...nothing. By that point I was exhausted and in a huge amount of pain. The only thing I could do was just sit in the venue of the Christmas party, and just stare into space.
At the point where I just decided to walk back and wake our landlord up, he appeared, looking really surprised. What had he been doing? Sitting in a room somewhere and smoking pot.
I really can't believe all of that, writing it again. Who would want to be with someone that treated them with such disrespect and disregard?
Anyway, on the plus side, I'm finally addressing the consequences of my back injury. I realise that stopping feeling the pain is only part of the recovery process. The other part is regaining strength and flexibility. Except I'm not just aiming to get back to where I was before I hurt my back, in terms of strength and flexibility...I'm aiming to improve on that.
A metaphor for life, eh?
I bet we've all got stories of being treated with disregard and disrespect...
Ha! I've just remembered something he said towards the very end...it was something along the lines of not wanting to get to the point where he was treating me badly because he was resenting me. Makes me laugh now...he'd been doing just that for a number of years previous. Pathetic.
Anyway, yes, I agree, I have to remember that when I sense that someone is treating me in a prolonged disrespectful way, I have to recognise it, and draw some boundaries to preserve myself.
