[quote=Jmstl]So, today has been pretty good so far.
No pursuing, spying (checking fb etc) Question for you and others to whom it applies.
What possible good can come of looking at their fb? One healthy thing I did from the get go was to block h.
I thought it out in advance. "If h is miserable and thinking of ME/Marriage/Kids - is he going to post about that on FB? No.
So if he posts about his new OW, (ouch) will I feel better? Hell no. No matter what she looks like, I'll feel worse. IF she's a slob, I'll be puzzled like crazy, and assume he's "dating down to get more validation by an inferior".
If she looks like a runway model who earns $big bucks, I'll feel like crap about myself.
So If he posts just about anything OTHER than how he misses ME/KIDS, I will feel hurt. (And he's not going to post about missing his old life). There is no good that can come of my looking."
Folks, all the poop I've dealt with, that^^^ is one piece I will not serve myself. It seems like such an invitation to pain. There is no amount of curiosity (or lack of impulse control) that will make me look or make it worthwhile. No thanks.
(if there is some legal investigatory purpose to stalking on FB, have a trusted confidant do it for you. )
I hope you'll ponder it.
Very little thought of her. Only cried a little bit, when 25 had me imagine she died, and what I would be doing.
I have a very vivid imagination, and a little mini movie of everything that happened played out.
The premise of the exercise was that your grief had largely subsided and your new life without your w, but happy, was being lived. That was what the exercise wants you to focus on.
Want to try it again?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
[quote=Jmstl]So, today has been pretty good so far.
No pursuing, spying (checking fb etc) Question for you and others to whom it applies.
What possible good can come of looking at their fb? One healthy thing I did from the get go was to block h.
I thought it out in advance. "If h is miserable and thinking of ME/Marriage/Kids - is he going to post about that on FB? No.
So if he posts about his new OW, (ouch) will I feel better? Hell no. No matter what she looks like, I'll feel worse. IF she's a slob, I'll be puzzled like crazy, and assume he's "dating down to get more validation by an inferior".
If she looks like a runway model who earns $big bucks, I'll feel like crap about myself.
So If he posts just about anything OTHER than how he misses ME/KIDS, I will feel hurt. (And he's not going to post about missing his old life). There is no good that can come of my looking."
Folks, all the poop I've dealt with, that^^^ is one piece I will not serve myself. It seems like such an invitation to pain. There is no amount of curiosity (or lack of impulse control) that will make me look or make it worthwhile. No thanks.
(if there is some legal investigatory purpose to stalking on FB, have a trusted confidant do it for you. )
I hope you'll ponder it.
Very little thought of her. Only cried a little bit, when 25 had me imagine she died, and what I would be doing.
I have a very vivid imagination, and a little mini movie of everything that happened played out.
The premise of the exercise was that your grief had largely subsided and your new life without your w, but happy, was being lived. That was what the exercise wants you to focus on.
Want to try it again?
I do. I just didn't manage to make it that far. I will try again later in the evening.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Kickboxing totally kicked my butt. I could only make it half way through class. But I did not want to give up on my exercise. I summoned the will, and channeled my emotions to run 3 miles.
Now, I am GALing with my new laptop, sitting in a coffeehouse, writing.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
It was a sad, yet extremely cathartic experience, and I think it is something that I am going to continue to do.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
how exactly are we going to define anonymous blog? I mean, people will be able to figure out who I am. But I am not afraid of that. I have nothing to hide.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Well I was just asking if it was something you could link to or help us find in some way. But if it's got personal info in it, then you wouldn't want to link that here.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
Well I was just asking if it was something you could link to or help us find in some way. But if it's got personal info in it, then you wouldn't want to link that here.
Oh, I mean it does give out my detailed personal information.. I has my name, general area and some pictures.
I would have no issues linking to the blog, but I think it is against the site rules (correct me if I am wrong, someone)
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Make sure your blog is discreet enough that your w won't feel offended, and yet don't write it b/c you are trying to get a reaction from her. Detach!
(But Don't reveal info that harms your legal interests or your DBing).
Hang in there
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
