Journey to Acceptance

[Coly23]

Hey SKM, thank for checking in on me. I am doing okay thanks just plodding along. How are you doing? Are things getting better with your H?

Journaling - On my H front not much going on there. After the texts he sent on my birthday and D's exam results day we haven't had any interaction with him. He has texted D a couple of times but she has not responded. She told me the other day that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore which is really sad. H did text me tonight to say a bill that is addressed to us both was redirected to his address and as it was late he wanted to know if he could pay it for me. I just went back and said that it was very kind of him to offer but I have now sorted it and thanked him for letting me know. He just said cool, no worries. Not sure if I did the right thing but I just don't want him to think we can't look after ourselves. I shall remember to change the name on the bill so it is just addressed to me.

At the end of August H's friend who married an American and lives over there now came over for a visit. When they come over we are usually invited over for a big family get together. I realised this year that I would not be invited so I preempted it and asked them if myself and D could see them separately. I didnt think they would be interested so I was suprised when his friend's W contacted me and asked to catch up. She came over for dinner with her D and also H's other friend's wife and D came too so we had a lovely girlies evening. When she was leaving she gave me the loveliest hug. I was so touched that they took the time to see us especially as they were not here for very long.

Still feeling a little low at the moment though, but I know things are getting better. I don't feel so out of control anymore and I am making decisions based on my life going forward rather than having H in mind. To be honest with you, I don't blame D for saying she doesn't want anything to do with him. He brings nothing to us at the moment but hurt and sadness because when we see him it's like we have to accept what he wants. But we don't want him to think we are happy with his choices so we would rather we didn't see him.

Also interestingly, this week is the week he said he had time off and asked D to go away on holiday with him. He obviously hasn't gone anywhere seeing as he is texting me about post he has received! Shame he hasn't got all those friends to go away with him like he expected!!

I've got my makeup lesson on Saturday! If you remember I got that as a present from D for my birthday. We are going to make a day of it with shopping and a bite to eat. I'm really looking forward to it. D start college in Monday too. It's exciting but scary at the same time! She is growing up far too quickly!!

Happy Thursday everyone!!