Just to stay mentally prepared; if/when she decides to bring the papers to my place; how am I supposed to act? - I will def ask her if I can review them with a lawyer. I am just nervous about the whole exchange. I will keep posting throughout the rest of the week and weekend if more texts come flying in.
Thank you all; time to focus inward.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Just to stay mentally prepared; if/when she decides to bring the papers to my place; how am I supposed to act? - I will def ask her if I can review them with a lawyer. I am just nervous about the whole exchange. I will keep posting throughout the rest of the week and weekend if more texts come flying in.
Thank you all; time to focus inward.
Don't "ask" if you can take them to a lawyer. You can take them to a lawyer. She doesn't get any say in that. You have the same right to counsel that she does, and why are you going to ask permission?
How to handle it? If you can pull this off, if she shows up at your door with divorce papers, take them, glance at them, toss them on the couch/coffee table/whatever is near the door, say, "I'll look these over when I have a chance," and close the door.
Here's the thing. You DON'T have to make this easy. You don't have to sign anything she gives you. You only have to sign if you WANT the divorce, or you think that there's a reason things will go worse for you in court. You can "review" these papers forever and a day if you want to with no consequences. It's not until she files and has you served that $hit gets real. And even AFTER that point, you can agree to sign those papers and avoid a messy fight.
LH - I missed typed...I did not mean I was going to ask...I was more just saying I will.
I guess this is when I should look over state law and get familiar with it. She mentioned a dissolution; is this proceeding any different from what you are saying E? I do not need to sign anything until she signs something and files it...at which point I would be summoned to court...where I can then just sign?
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Agree with LH. You should absolutely talk to a lawyer to protect yourself. A dissolution the legal instrument that takes care of dissolving the marriage (think property settlement, etc) and forms the basis of the divorce decree. You should ABSOLUTELY NOT SIGN ANYTHING UNLESS YOU ARE POSITIVE IT IS WHAT YOU WANT, AND THAT THE TERMS ARE ACCEPTABLE TO YOU.
These agreements are binding, and while it's possible to unwind one before a judge approves it, it's not an easy task, and typically requires you show duress or something.
Don't worry about the escalation - you'll be blue in the eyes if you try to see what her motivations are.
As everyone has said, when you get the papers just make sure you have a L look em over and get their advice.
As it is said here quite often, divorce is just a piece of paper. Don't let that deter you from DBing and continuing to improve yourself and make a life worth living - for yourself.
Don't worry about it until you actually get served. and I like East's suggestion on how to handle the interaction if she actually shows up.
