I think you should respond with "I don't think there's anything to talk about as long as you're still talking to OM."
Yes, you lose advantage because now she knows you know. But it doesn't matter because you need to stop snooping any ways. She will take her activities underground and keep lying - don't buy any of it.
Why do you need to meet up with her? Now the situation has changed. You are not interested in having any relationship talks as long as she's talking to OM. That's your boundary. Your self-respect and that you're not a doormat.
And then start living your life and DBing like a pro - GAL, detach, drop the rope, etc.
As East said - don't get drawn into a fight. After you text her that, she's gonna come back at you. Turn off your phone if it's too hard to deal with for the day or leave it out of sight. Don't fight her, ask for explanations, explain how you know - NOTHING!!!! Let her stew in what's she's created.
So I sent her a message basically stating I understand her guilty feeling however I do not think there is anything to talk about if that OM is still in your life.... She sent back "is thaat yoour reaasoning foor making no effoort thiis laast moonth"?
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
After you text her that, she's gonna come back at you. Turn off your phone if it's too hard to deal with for the day or leave it out of sight. Don't fight her, ask for explanations, explain how you know - NOTHING!!!! Let her stew in what's she's created.
This is your answer. You don't HAVE to respond. So she comes back with an angry denial. So what? You don't have to justify or prove she's lying. You know the truth. She knows the truth. What's the point of arguing about it? What does it achieve? Moral victories aren't going to do you any good--they will actually WORSEN your situation--so get out of the mindset of trying to achieve them.
Control you. That's ALL you have in this mess, control of yourself. Stake out some healthy boundaries, decide what it is that YOU want and are willing to accept in this relationship and then STAND by them. This is about you. Not her. Not your M. You.
E - Thank you; I will def be expecting some other texts coming from her side; however...just like I stayed my ground on the previous boundary of calling before coming over - I will do the same here.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
So I sent her a message basically stating I understand her guilty feeling however I do not think there is anything to talk about if that OM is still in your life.... She sent back "is thaat yoour reaasoning foor making no effoort thiis laast moonth"?
If that's not some weird typo issue on your part, WTF? Is she actually mocking you here? Don't play this game. GAL. NC. Let her deal with the mess she's making. Be the best you you can be and let her feel what life is like without you.
Ha - your going to laugh, but I went down a bunny trail on this website and ran into a thread that said not to copy and paste exact messages because if you google it; it can lead someone right to the forum...
She just sent "Fine I agree, not much to talk aboout at thiis point bc im suuper disappointed in you too. yoou could care lees if you loose me. I wiill get the paapers next week and briing them to you to sign. "
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
