Yeah, telling her doesn't seem to do ME any good, was thinking more in terms of "maybe this would be positive for D." That said, if I have concerns that she's being pressured by her mother over things then... yeah, no good can come of this in any way, can it?
As far as talking to the school counselor, the whole idea of D being responsible for this IS a bit weird for me, too. Believe it or not, though, both her teacher AND her counselor (and D!) have told me that this is working well for all of them, is minimally disruptive, and is giving D a chance to talk about her feelings. I've brought this up to my C and she thinks it's a good place for D to be right now, too. I'm going to bring everything about D over the last week up during my session tomorrow and see what C says.
My parents brought me to a pshrink when I was a kid and it wasn't a positive experience. It gave me a VERY bad impression about the profession for years. If D is getting good support at school, which is a place she feels comfortable, and all the adults in play feel good about it, and D does too, and the doc taking care of my head thinks this is a good plan for now, then it seems to make sense to let it ride unless I see other changes, or school lets me know that D is getting worse.
I'll think about what I could say to STBXW. I've thought about broaching the subject (D seeing a professional) more than once, but every time I write out a text, and read it before hitting send, I delete it. Everything I write seems guaranteed to cause conflict. If we're divorced in a week, maybe things will deescalate for a while and there's the possibility then. If not, I expect things will get worse before they get better.
