I am done with my trial and was promptly greeted with a bout of stomach flu. I have not been up to reading or catching up and have been trying to sleep off this flu.
In the meantime, a short update.
H was away for training for about two weeks in August while I was in trial. It was absolute heaven. Not having to tolerate his passive aggressive nonsense was absolute bliss.
But alas, all good things must come to an end. When he got back, much of the same PA craziness.
His porn obsession is amping up as well. He is up to about an hour a day trolling free porn sites. Sometimes even visiting the ones where you can "chat" with the girls and tell them what you want them to do. Nice, huh. I am no addiction expert, but I tend to think an hour a day is obsessive/excessive. And I'm not anti-porn, to each their own. But I think his interest is corroborative of some kind of sex addiction. <-- Mind reading, I know. I'll stop now.
Strangely enough, H has been very nice and very helpful while I have been sick. It can be easy to get lulled into a false sense that something about him is changing when he behaves nicely to me. How sad that I have been conditioned to think behaving like a decent human being is a sign of "hope." I know otherwise. But I have to admit that there are moments I feel the pull toward false hope.
Realistically, I suspect he is up to something and that is why he is behaving so nicely.
I am continuing to make preparations for leaving. I hate to do it. I really do. I still want to have hope things will change. It seems to me, things rarely do for those marriages so deeply affected by MLC. This is so far from the family life I had envisioned. Sometimes, I still can't believe all this is really happening.
