You will look much stronger if you don't worry about it (which is hard) and start DBing, start distancing, start 180s. Me knowing didn't change her mind.
Personally, I can't fight phantoms, and trying to mind-read/over-interpret has been driving me crazy. Knowing/clarity is helping me detach. Just having the courage to bring it up to her last night in a non-emotional, non-confrontational way has helped me focus. This has been floating around for a couple of weeks in bits and pieces, and I have been so anxiety-ridden that it's been hard for me to function. I've been too afraid to address it because of the potential negative consequences, but the way I'm wired, I have to know.
She's incredibly anxiety-prone herself - that's why she was on meds for so long - but I'm not wired live quite like that.
I'm angry that we're at this point. At this moment I have very low desire to have talks about the M, calling, texting, hanging around chit-chatting, helping with her resume, or even pretending to be my charming self. Which I think is at the core of DBing anyway...
I don't know. I hate to go against advice of people here. Y'all have experienced what works and what doesn't.
