I differ in one opinion. The theory of the WAS's guilt...
NO they do not always feel guilt and IF they do, they often end turning it outward towards the source of their guilt.
They have justified their course of action and "guilt" has been factored OUT.
They already did the math and YOU are the problem, not them. (In their eyes).
They are not happy or fulfilled or "were always miserable/for years/unhappy" and that means something must change in their lives OTHER than them.
And it doesn't look good to give your kids away, so they give their spouse away. Not feeling that much guilt (often they feel relief)
and when that guilty feeling creeps up, usually (not always) it morphs into anger.
Which is why trying to guilt them, can really end up backfiring. And it can look manipulative, (which it often is if we are honest). Being a h only a fool would leave - is the best over all approach,
but prepare for your w to be a fool. And for you to be okay, anyhow.
Imagine for one minute that your W had suddenly passed away.
Imagine that you grieved awhile, and so did the kids. Imagine that you were fairly healed and that X amount of time had passed...
that you were okay. In fact, you were happy, even without her around.
So what would that look like?
What would life be like without your wife AND with you, happy??
Flesh this ^^ image out a bit. Take 2 minutes and ponder that. What would your life be like? Would your job change? Or go back to school? Studying what? Studying music or another language or dance?
Any new hobbies? What about travel? Would you move? And sports and volunteering and hiking and anything else?
What things have you put off, or not done, for whatever reasons?
SO,
which of those^^^ can you do, now? That's where GAL can begin...
Hang in there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
