Good day at work overall. Had the following text exchange with WW today:
Me: What time do DD's need blue slips? I'll have to call them in WW: Text D17 and ask what time WW: Whats the $xxx? Me: Two therapy appointments. I also need to buy stuff for my Mom's B-Day out of this paycheck
Later in the afternoon as I was leaving work:
WW: What time and where is family therapy tonight?
I didn't respond...was going to respond when I got home. As I pull up, I see WW getting something out of her car and going insid the house. I walk in and set my stuff down and tell WW "Family therapy is next week" She replies "oh it's next week"
WW is in the kitchen and I say "when are we getting together to do taxes? We have until October 15th" "I don't know that's a good question"
Then we had the following exchange:
Me: What appointment did D15 have today WW: "Well D17 is her ride home" in kind of a snotty "you idiot" tone Me: 'Your answer didn't call for that tone" calmly
As WW was leaving she turned to me and said "see you later" I said "see you later" as I held the door for her because her car was blocking the garage. This may be semi pursuing but I motioned for WW to roll down her window:
Me: I'm making pasta later if you want to stay and have some WW: No...I think I'm just gonna go Me: Ok
Normally I would watch her back out and wave as she leaves but this time I got into my car and proceeded to pull into the garage. Felt good!
Just discovered that WW is staying with some good friends that we stayed with when we moved back down to this area. They're a couple that has been together close to 20 years.
Not reading into it but I think they'll be a good influence. Both of their parents have been married forever.
I know I know DETACH DETACH DETACH GAL GAL GAL
please expect nothing from this^^ possible interchange because chances are your w will spend whatever time they do discussing the m, defending her choices.
Back to detachment -- i don't know how to detach without GAL.
How's that going?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
That is excellent news! It's very hard to overcome the inertia and drive to just stay huddled, - been there done that. And I still have my moments.
But like I said, how else can we lower our pain? How can we "distract" ourselves and stop obsessing if we are mired in it?
Good work.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I still have those moments where I just don't want to do anything but throw myself a pity party. Those thankfully are starting to lose their frequency.
There's also those times when I just quite frankly don't feel like doing anything and just veg out!
My C says that's par for the course at this stage.
WW: I'd like you to reevaluate our living arrangements
Haven't responded yet
please do not respond yet. You both dance to crazy making music too much. The interactions are really not healthy.
If she wants a divorce it's not like it's "yours" to give. The state grants divorces today - and she's free to get one.
Why on earth would you move out? If need be, if really need be, stay brief and on point.
Don't take more than 2 sentences to make a point - but please decide nothing, tonight.
No advantage to rushing an answer
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Girls seem fine to me. Typical teenagers...in their rooms or out with friends. Trying to do family dinner at least once a week. I invited WW last week but she said she just couldn't emotionally because of a text I sent her the night before.
Ever since I started this thread I have been very cautious in my approach and language while interacting with WW. I agree that most of our interactions have not been not healthy. Based on the wonderful advice you gave a couple days ago, I've not been righteous, preachy, judge mental, or self pitying! Through you I've realized that the constant pity party, self loathing "zingers" only prop me up by tearing her down. So one of my 180's is to be more loving and caring while being calmly confident in our interactions. The constant harping drove her away while at the same time making me look very unattractive.
Ate dinner with D17 last night and had a nice discussion about school and how the new school year is starting out.
D15 went to a friends house to do HW and she ate while she was there. She had a migraine headache so I bought her some Excedrin Migraine and she took those and rested for a bit. Later we were in the kitchen and she started to tell me about her history teacher and some of the things he said in class. Most interesting convo to say the least.
