Ah, a new thread...a place where I, and anyone else who'd like to, can post all the GOOD stuff about finally getting their life back.
It sure as heck's been a long and often devastatingly, painful road to get to where I am today...but ya know what, in retrospect I'm almost thankful for the ride.
I have learned a great deal about myself, some of which I don't like very much.
Prior to the BOMB, I:
Allowed myself to live my life putting everyone and everything else FIRST before my own happiness and needs.
I had become complacent in my marriage and indifferent towards my H. Yep, I took my life for granted.
I denied myself some things that really meant something to me like developing and fostering friendships with gal pals.
Going to the opera, ballet or playing golf etc.
I allowed myself to be inched out of my H's life slowly but surely as he became more and more involved in outside activities and friends that didn't include me.
I allowed myself to become 'isolated' from a social network of my own.
THIS HORRIFIC eye opener of a crisis has given me a new and better perspective of what I NEED and WANT for MY LIFE.
I no longer put ANYONE'S self serving needs/wants before my own.
I speak up and out when I feel that my feelings or position on something is being dismissed by ANYONE.
I relate at least 75% better with my H and refuse to 'egg shell' my way thru my relationship with him.
I have come to realize that M is also a CHOICE for me to make, and whether this one is good for me or not, I WILL DECIDE NOT MY H.
I have come to realize that what my H was ready to throw away with HIS foolish behavior, WOULD have been the greatest loss in HIS life....ME
I like me again...no, I LOVE ME again.
I am worth every ounce of joy that life can offer me and I will let nothing and no one ever stand in the way of my happiness again.
I OWN my life and my choices now, no one else does.
And for all of this, my M is better because I have taken back my 50% of the ownership of it, and have given my H full responsibility for his 50%.
Life after Betrayal..can be better than it was before if you take the lessons learned and GROW from them, whether your M survives the journey or not.
T2