Drastic changes & mixed signals - what to do?

[25yearsmlc]

RR17,

Not to quibble, but I don't know about them "all being bipolar" at all. When that term is used loosely its more of an excuse than being selfish, dishonest and very entitled.

Plus it's a real mental illness that requires an MD to diagnose and treat.

Daisy,

I'm so sorry for the social media crap. I really know it hurts. A self protective step you can take, is to block him from social media big time. Seriously. It's the one healthy thing I can point to that I've done that has protected me from undue pain and suffering. (Thank God).

No, I have not said a word to h. (We are not in contact).

But - What is there to say? Our mutual friends and family saw the pics. Some reached out to me. Not impressed with h. My h is not very self aware.

The photos (which he posted) speak for themselves, and yes, our children saw them as well. I think that is why H has not been in contact - either angers at the kids or h is embarrassed and historically h reacts to guilt or embarrassment by lashing out or hiding. No contact since.

If your h posted them, that is Not a mixed signal. It is Major cake eating with a side dish of humiliation.

And in truth, he is embarrassing himself, not you. Easy to say, I know.

But step back a minute to see that objectively. Ask yourself what you would think of a h of one of your friends if they posted that. Would you say "Oh, good for him! NOW he's happy"??

Or would you shake your head in disbelief and see him as the cliche he is?

IF OW posted it, then she's declared herself publicly.

I'd withdraw until you know what you want to do. Stay private or there will be misguided judgments and your kids could be exposed to some painful things.

I wonder if you can tell your h "oh h, I saw the FB posts, like all of our friends and family. So You need to leave the house as soon as I get home. We can email anything regarding the kids ." The ML has to stop for now. (He won't forget it.)

Take your time about your next step. Don't do it as a knee jerk reaction to his behavior.

Figure out whether you want to share this path with him.

Again, i'm so sorry.