Hey Joe, you're getting some great advice here. TXHubby's hardline approach isn't one that works for every sitch, but in reading yours I think it is very similar to his and his approach may be appropriate for you. Just a note though, he did not do it as a strategy to get his W back, he was well and truly done, and I think THAT is a huge reason why it worked for him.
I did want to comment on a few things you've said along these lines:
Originally Posted By: joejoe1
She is still being cold towards me, but I'm still doing 180s, by cleaning the house and help to get the kids ready for school. I have been putting a coffee cup on the Kurig once I finish making my coffee. She dosen't seem to take notice to it, but I won't stop. It's a 180 for me.
^^^THAT is very beta behavior and is not going to attract her back. I'm not saying it's bad to do those things, but those are not things I would consider significant 180's. Most of us were very alpha when we met our wives. Over the years we become good little hubbies and fathers and become much more beta and lost the alpha characteristics we once had that our W's were attracted to to begin with. We become less active, we gain weight, we quit hanging out with friends, etc. Our W's look at us and wonder when their sexy, attractive man suddenly became a couch potato. Anyway when we get BD'd our reaction is to think "oh my gosh, I should have helped her more! I need to do that now- wash dishes, do laundry, get the kids ready for bed." Those are all worthy things, but they're not doing anything for our attractiveness. Our W's aren't leaving us because they need a house maid. I think a lot of the other things you've mentioned are right on point as far as GAL though, so you're doing fine. I just wanted to clarify that so you know where to put your focus. Obviously we ARE fathers now so we can't just abandon all beta behavior, but the goal is to find a balance to where we get back those alpha traits while also keeping the beta stuff going.
