Accept your faults in the marriage but don't take 100% of the ownership. I read a post on here from a vet that basically said the only difference between you and your W was that she pulled the trigger first that rarely in these situations are both spouses happy in the relationship.
With that said you will never figure her out and over time you will stop wondering what is going on in her head. As a point of reference I am almost 3 months into my SEP and I only started to feel much better over the course of the last two weeks. I had sleepless nights, always wondered what she was doing when she did not have the kids, is out on a date, who is boinking her, etc.
Get out GAL, don't be so hard on yourself and start working on detaching. Detaching is the hardest part IMO, I am better than what I was three months ago but I am not fully detached either. It is a process but the quicker you get your confidence back the easier the process will be.
