JoeJoe1 - I don't swing by here often mostly only watching old friends on the forum here but Joseph's response caught my eye.
Keep in mind that as opposed to the "me" that I was a year and a half ago when I first got here I'm a lot more cynical than I was then. This sort of thing can do that to you.
Forgive me also for the fact that I've not read back on your situation as well so I might get this completely wrong.
You are looking at the wrong issue. Your W isn't going to suddenly "wake up" and realize that she now has a pool boy and a nanny and think you are wonderful and that she'll pick you over the other guy.
Just like when you are in an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down out of the ceiling, you need to save yourself first. So - let me ask you a question. Are you happy with the man you see in the mirror? Do you respect him? Do you admire him? Notice that I didn't ask what your W thought - I asked what you thought. If you're not happy with him, work on changes to make yourself happy with him. You may have to get through this on your own so you should at least know that you have good company.
A lot of the philosophy here even though it is couched in the "save your marriage" terms are actually "save yourself" messages. If you don't save yourself you'll be no darned good to anyone else.
It will probably be one of the hardest things that you've ever done, but you need to be that best person you can be for yourself and your children. Your W is on her own journey that may well spend a fair bit of time in Fairy Land Crazy Ville. You don't want to go there (my heavens I'm bolding a lot).
So - stop being the house servant - be an equal partner in the marriage knowing that if your W is off playing with the fairies that you'll have to pick up that part of the load too.
Just know that for most of the people who end up in this horrible / wonderful place: - There are no easy answers - There are no quick solutions - There is only hard work
Are you ready to work on the things you can change?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
