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Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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Jmstl Offline OP
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Alright, so it is time to really focus on how to DB.

W texted and asked if I could make sure that the money she gave D6 for lunch was not in her lunchbox. This is a direct question, which could be answered. But I also feel like I should not respond.

Now bear in mind, part of our issue was lack of communication.
I really don't feel I should respond to this, nor anything else that does not require an immediate response, but at the same time, I don't want to do 'more of the same' and not communicate.

Thoughts.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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Text Back - "No problem"

Leave it at that

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Jmstl, since this is a matter that involves your children and their welfare, I think you should respond.


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
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When asked a questions, respond with short answers. If it is informational no need to respond. Vary your responses and not always right away because you are GALING and having a fabulous life!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 299
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Jmstl Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
When asked a questions, respond with short answers. If it is informational no need to respond. Vary your responses and not always right away because you are GALING and having a fabulous life!!


Okay. Yeah I made sure that if I was going to answer, it would not be right away. This was sent 8 hours ago.

And I just said 'no problem' as suggested.

It's really hard to be so short. Before the S, I would be like "I sure will! Thanks for the reminder I love you have a great day!"


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Quote:
It's really hard to be so short. Before the S, I would be like "I sure will! Thanks for the reminder I love you have a great day!"


Yep.....nothing like that. Short, simple and to the point. Like you were interacting with your neighbor. When I am with my W in person I try to act like nothing is bothering me. I try to act happy, content, confident etc. I don't follow her around, if at a soccer game with my D's I will go stand at the other end of the field, things like that just to mix it up. I don't sit right next to her I will normally put 1 of my D's in between us, things like that. You might be tearing up inside but you don't want her to see you sweat. That is why GAL is so important to get your confidence back so she no longer has any control over you!

The sooner you get your confidence back the quicker you will move on emotionally.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Just saw your comments from the previous thread.

Yeh, Benni been around the block and his 2x4s are dead on point. Don't worry, I got smacked around quite a bit in the beginning too, and that's okay. We are all going to be better for it at the end.


No one is coming to save you!

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Jmstl Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Maika
Just saw your comments from the previous thread.

Yeh, Benni been around the block and his 2x4s are dead on point. Don't worry, I got smacked around quite a bit in the beginning too, and that's okay. We are all going to be better for it at the end.


Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if it is better for me to be on this forum or not. I has been extremely helpful, but at the same time it seems to keep reminding me of what I lost.

I get conflicted, which is why I post a lot. It seems to help me clear my head.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Jm....this site has been better than therapy for me. I have no updates in my sitch but this place has been awesome to help me feel not alone and to help me re-gain my confidence. It is also a great way journal and discuss things with folks that have gone through the same problems.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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