So, I met her on bumble. We started to talk. We arranged to get together for drinks. After the arrangement, but before we met up I messaged her and said hey "I don't think I am ready to go on any sort of romantic date. I am really just looking for friends. She pointed out that I was on a dating app. I replied that was a very fair point, and I was going to delete the account. She asked if we could still get together for drinks as friends. I said okay (I'm lonely, and thought it would just be friendly) So I gave her my number, and deleted the app. (I have ZERO dating/meeting apps that I use). So we met for drinks. She crossed the friend boundary, which made me uncomfortable, but I tried to push that thought out.
I can't push that thought out anymore. Which is why I told her hey, I can't talk to you or see you (My exact words are 'I am cutting this off right now') because I need to protect,grow, and focus on myself.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Okay, that made me laugh, which I need bc I feel like crap now from the 2x4s.
But as mad as I am at Benni for pressing, he does make fair points that I do need to address.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
You can have friends from opposite sex, don't get me wrong. The situation just sounded like a date and a potential setting for an EA to happen. That REALLY can happen even without you realizing it because it gets addictive due to neurotransmitters really quickly. If you end up in an EA, you won't be as open to your W. So, I'm not going to say you have to ditch a good friend but make sure you prevent yourself from falling into an EA because it will be harmful for your progress in DB.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
There are differences of opinions and everyone has there own point of view.. which everyone is more than entitled to. And I respect that.
But are we here to help you out or not?
Before you can help in the correct way we need blunt honesty from both sides as its the only way to make lasting changes and after all this is said and done you'll be OK.
Benni, I get that and appreciate it! I really do, because you are asking tough questions that I have to answer.
I think right now I am not even going to meet women, bc the potential for am EA just seems too great. So yes, while I don't like the tough questions being asked, I KNOW they need to be. We are all here to help and support each other. And sometimes that requires a bit of 'tough love'
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
