25yearsMLC 10 Years Later I FILE D part 6

[Maybell]

Did our WAS change and why? OR were they always this way and we did not see it, or they hid it well enough?

Why did WE not see it sooner, or address it, and thus, what can we do to avoid this event happening in our next r?

I had a kerfuffle with Mr. Fantastic last night and when a divorced friend called me shortly after on an unrelated matter, I posed this question to her. Her ex is a train wreck if ever there was one and my friend has had a lot to overcome. Her take is this:

Yeah, he was always a mess. But he thought highly enough of his spouse that he was willing to try to hide it and live as though he was the man she thought he was, out of love for her. Until finally it was more effort than he could sustain. So she thanks him for having loved her enough to make the effort, and she thanks him for finally being honest enough to show her that he's the POS he always was.

Now, I don't know if I can subscribe to this for myself. I don't know that Mr. Fantastic ever loved me. Now that I'm with My Guy I'm just seeing too many things missing from my "relationship " with Mr. F to really call it a relationship. But maybe I'm still so angry and I'm being overly harsh. Maybe it will help you, and I hope it does. But it strikes me as a tremendously positive way to acknowledge a painful and ugly experience, so maybe someday I can find my version of that expression of gratitude.

PS, I sell life insurance for a living. There are four parties to a policy: owner, payor, insured, and beneficiary. The insured is not automatically the owner, though he often it's. That's why businesses can put key person insurance on employees. Was your H the owner of the policy? Even though you were the payor? If not, USAA erred.