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Now, give it time. Lots of time. Consistently keep doing that and that will help with detachment and dropping the rope. All of what you mentioned is good.


No one is coming to save you!

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Whats dropping the rope? Explanation please.


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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Originally Posted By: Maika
Now, give it time. Lots of time. Consistently keep doing that and that will help with detachment and dropping the rope. All of what you mentioned is good.


Thanks. I also just messaged the woman I met with last week, and let her know that I was cutting it off. You guys are right. I am opening myself up to an EA, and just further hurt.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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Originally Posted By: joejoe1
Whats dropping the rope? Explanation please.


Joe, I found this in another DB thread that seemed to sum it up.

From AmyC

Dropping the rope is not something you do.
It is a place that you reach.

You reach it when although you still love your spouse and would still like to see the marriage restored, you have begun to live for yourself happily again.

You drop the rope at the exact moment you know in your gut and in your soul that you ARE okay and further, that you will ALWAYS be okay. No matter what.

That's my opinion anyway.

Good luck.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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Originally Posted By: Jmstl
Originally Posted By: Maika
Now, give it time. Lots of time. Consistently keep doing that and that will help with detachment and dropping the rope. All of what you mentioned is good.


Thanks. I also just messaged the woman I met with last week, and let her know that I was cutting it off. You guys are right. I am opening myself up to an EA, and just further hurt.


Well, she responded very positively to me telling her. That makes me feel a lot better, and I am just cruising on with my day.

More DB work to do, choo choo!


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 449
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Originally Posted By: Jmstl

Thanks. I also just messaged the woman I met with last week


So you have met 2 separate women?

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Jmstl Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Benni8
Originally Posted By: Jmstl

Thanks. I also just messaged the woman I met with last week


So you have met 2 separate women?


*sigh* yes Benni.

I've told both of them I am not ready, and need to focus on me.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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Hi

I'm not trying to be funny, but this really does confuse me.

This morning you were absolutely adamant it was nothing but a friendly meet up.

You wrote a whole paragraph on how it meant nothing.

Either it wasnt a date (like you have told us it wasnt) or you knew it was a date and you dont want to admit it.

If it wasnt a date, you wouldnt contact a potential friend you had just met and had lots of fun with, because a person on the internet told you to.

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So the person I met Last week, wanted to pursue a relationship. I have told her that I am not ready for that. That one is what I guess you would call a 'date'

The one from last night, I told LAST NIGHT, that I am not ready and need to focus on myself. I wasn't saying that about her, but about ANYONE in general. Last night was NOT a date. Last night was nothing more than two people sharing a meal, and talking about life. There was no romantic spark there at all.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 299
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Originally Posted By: Jmstl
So the person I met Last week, wanted to pursue a relationship. I have told her that I am not ready for that. That one is what I guess you would call a 'date'

The one from last night, I told LAST NIGHT, that I am not ready and need to focus on myself. I wasn't saying that about her, but about ANYONE in general. Last night was NOT a date. Last night was nothing more than two people sharing a meal, and talking about life. There was no romantic spark there at all.


And I will clarify, that there was no romantic spark last night, because there was NOT supposed to be.

I am horrible at trying to explain this, sorry.

I have been on basically date with one woman, and just friendly dinner with the other, it's the simplest I can explain it.

I feel like I have enough 2x4s to build a damned house.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017
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