Jmstl's thread-Part 3

[Jmstl]

DB Basics to get back to:

1. No contact - unless about kids or anything else. Limit what you say and be very business like
2. Going dark - don't share what you're doing and what you're upto. If she asks, give vague answers. Don't say stuff like you're improving yourself and what not - she doesn't care.
3. Do not lift a finger for D if that's not what you want.
4. GAL your heart out
5. Work on detachment and dropping the rope
6. Be upbeat, positive and chill if you see her

Read Sandi's rules again. Put them in practice and then see what happens over time.

N/C-I did not text or speak to W at all yesterday. She sent me an email about finding a new piano teacher, and posted some photos to our photo sharing app. I did not respond to the email, because it wasn't actionable. I did not 'like' the photos, as doing that serves no purpose. I saw the pics, I love them, but I am not going to comment on them.
Going dark-I stopped posting to facebook what I am doing, how I am feeling etc. I REALLY doubt she even looks at my facebook, but we have 57 mutual friends and I know facebook will sometimes put comments for friends of ours into her feed. I don't want her to see anything that I am doing. Additionally, the coparenting app we use, will show when someone read the message or item. She sent a photo yesterday and I intentionally waited 8 hours to open it, whereas usually it would be 8 seconds.
I am trying to make her think I dropped off the face of the planet, essentially.
3-I am not lifting a finger, but truthfully there is no finger to lift. Because it is uncontested, there is really nothing to do, but wait out the next month until the hearing, (which I assume will finalize the D that day)
4-GALing-I am GAL'ing. Granted I probably should not have been meeting new women for drinks b/c I see how that can lead to an EA. But Kickboxing, hiking, working on the book, just generally going out and enjoying the day.
5-Detachment is obviously tough. It does get better. stopping following her social media, and not checking her FB has helped somewhat. GALing, has helped me just enjoy ME time, which has lead to..
6-I am much more upbeat and positive. I have more patience with the kids, enjoy my free time, and am just trying to /be/ happy, not letting other things in life get me down.