Jmstl - I wouldn't say that this is wrong in the sense that the LBS in this situation wants that connection. They're not getting it from their spouse so when they get it from someone else, as lcause put it, it creates a dangerous situation and can easily turn to an EA.
The reason I said it's not wrong is because wanting to connect with others is natural, it is just not the right timing as you are not approaching this from a position of strength.
The advice up there from Kylo about the fog tunnel timeline and Benni's serious 2x4s - really keep them in mind because they are 100% right.
That's why DB is turning inwards and focusing on yourself and getting help from a professional if needed to move that forward. You have to empower yourself and heal and be strong enough that you can make choices that are truly rooted in your sense of confidence and self-worth.
