Lost on how to save my marriage!

[LiM]

Doodler,

Does letting go mean telling her to get out or doing the DBing techniques? Do I do the 180s, Detaching and GAL the hell out of myself first. I think the letting go as a concept is becoming easier. But I want to know what my next steps should be?

Letting Go means emotionally divorcing her. You don't have to actually divorce her right now but the sooner your realize that you are no longer married and come to terms with that, the sooner you will feel better about yourself and the sooner she may realize what she has lost.
The fact is that your W is gone. You no longer have a M unless of course you are fine with sharing your W with OM. I presume that you are not otherwise you would not be here.

As much as it [censored] to come to grips with this, it is what you have to do. Begin picking up the pieces and moving on with your life. Do not settle for any life. Build a life for yourself that is better than before. DB, GAL and 180 the hell out of your life but do it for YOU.

As for if/when to kick your W out, that's up to you. At a bare minimum, I would kick her out of the MBR. That room is for people committed to the R. She should not be allowed in that room so long as the A is active.