Thanks TX.....I think a lot of it has to do with the self-confidence of the LBS. Also, do you agree that at some point in time the LBS has to take some sort of action whether it be separation or D before the WW wakes up? I know it's a dice roll but it appears that just going along for the ride no matter what you do is a recipe for success. Especially if there are no signs from the WW wife that they are still engaged in making the R work.
You're right about self-confidence. While I was playing the role of poor cheated on husband sitting around lamenting my situation and just hoping my cheating wife would magically snap out of it, apologize, and go back to her old loving self...my self-confidence was at a lifetime low. No way I would have filed back then. I was content to grovel for any scrap of kindness she'd throw my way. I'm so disgusted when I think back on that version of me. Hell, I would have cheated on me too (no, not really).
That's one reason I'll always harp on you to become the best version of you that you can possibly be. Realize your potential and go for it. It's not easy and you can stumble along the way but ALWAYS move forward. Refuse to pity yourself. Go skydiving, hiking, scuba diving, whatever. Do some really great stuff with your life. Don't allow yourself to ever sit around moping and lamenting your WW.
I definitely agree you have to take some kind of action to improve your situation. That's what the DB program is. You taking action to get healthy, strong, and stand up for yourself.
Have you ever broken up with a former girlfriend? I think most of us have. If that girl got really clingy, cried all the time, kept telling you you're making a mistake and that you two were great, tried to remind you of the good times, etc. was she attractive to you? No, in fact she was even less attractive than before. She looked pathetic. Well? That's what you look like to a WAS/WS when keep trying to get them to wise up and come back to you.
Now, on the flip side, did you ever break up with someone and then got over you way too quick, moved on, was very happy, looked great, and had a great life going without you? Well, that's the one you regretted letting go of. that's the one you wanted back.
Same thing here. Don't allow yourself to do any of the unattractive behaviors and instead focus on ALWAYS doing the attractive behaviors. Be strong, confident, and always better than cheaters.
