Living in limbo and hating it

[Painful]

TxHubby,

Wth? Did you even read my post in detail??? I know you're one of the vets so I don't mean to be rude.

I never hid the A from anyone. Unfortunately I was asleep at the wheel and was the last one to find out about it. What I said in my original post that his W (now XW) had known about for some time and didn't tell me. Who the h*** knows why. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAD NO IDEA until 1/17 after W already had an apartment rented and informed me she wanted to separate. My guess is his XW's reasoning was that if I found out early on then my W and I would separate and my W would go after her husband with a vengeance. I assume she was hoping to end their A by threatening to leave and it backfired on her.

Both W's family and OM's family know about it. Both sides are adamantly against it and I know tried to end it by talking, screaming and yelling at them (separately) on many occasions and yet it only seemed to strengthen their resolve and "soulmate" feelings. Again, looks like "us v. the world" at its finest.

In what way do you see me being a doormat? All the neediness and sappiness I only express on this board. WW NEVER sees any of it during our brief interactions. A realistic advice would a lot more helpful instead.