Validate her comments, listen without arguing, don't pursue.... reread Sandie2's rules.
Regarding the deployment... IMHO, don't do it, primarily because it would just put one more roadblock between you and reconciliation. Time and distance are your friends, but let's not get carried away.
I still have a lot to learn about validation, and a ton of other things
Regarding volunteering for the deployment, it seems to be the consensus that will not be a good idea. I am holding my horses on this one.
