Expose or not?

[25yearsmlc]

Once you find out about the OP -- do you expose or not? What is the best course of action here?

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First, I recognize your name but don't know where your other thread is, which would help me recall your backstory.

So I do not know to whom you'd expose the affair.

Assuming you mean to tell the OP's spouse, I have mixed feelings. (It's not a DB tenet, however). I can understand the urge to disclose to the other married party

but not to strangers or co-workers IF you ever want hope of a recon/

there is a good chance it will make you look wounded and vindictive and possibly play into your h's narrative and his impression management.

If you are at peace with ending the m and scorching others you think deserve it, at least know what you are doing. Exposing to 3rd parties and coworkers tends to backfire big time.

And please don't involve anyone's children or parents. Harming your h's job will also harm your budget and your own kids.

Figure out what your goal is and what the likely ramifications are. Not what you "hope" but what is realistic and who might be hurt.

Collateral damage is what most cheaters don't consider, and we have to be above that.

What do you want to look back on in your own behavior facing this betrayal?

I'm just asking. Do you have a clear idea of your plan? Because unlike the WAS, we cannot act on our emotions without thinking first.


Make sense?