Hmmm so went to lunch with w today. We met at the diner. Last couple days i have been overthinking and trying to mindread in a big way so my mood wsnt very good.
She noticed and asked what was wrong. I vented told her both me and the kids were trying to help her and i felt she was being selfish. Going in and out of our lives almost cake eating.
I brought up that even she realizes some issues are not going to be dealt with by her alone that she needs professional help be it a doctor or some one to help with the emotional stuff going on.
I also stated that i was and still am shouldering my part in all this but i refuse to take all the blame for it.
We had our lunch just small talk mostly about kids and work. As we were leavinv my w looked at me thanked me for being a good dad and H. She went on to say the daily contact was moving us in right direction. She started to cry and asked for more time to get things worked out.
I responded with:
It was never me that wanted this, i have been supportive but there are limits...l need to protect myself emotionally too
She started to cry and again said Thank you for being who you are. I thanked her for having lunch with me and our talk and proceeded to my car.
She walked to my car embraced me. Said enjoy the rest of my day and asked well holding me to please keep up with our daily talks.
I left and went to pick up a few things as im driving towards home to drop off my purchases and switch over to my bike i notice that the w is still in parking area of diner approx an hour since i said good bye to her. I do not stop..
I waited about 2 more hours and texted her a thank you for having lunch with me. She texted back right away and thanked me also. She texted see you tomorrow evening, i dont no of any plans we have but did not respond to that part of message. Texted have agood night.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM DOING THIS ALL WRONG?
Over and over again i see in other threads trust your gut? Well my gut tells me something bad is going to happen and my DBing is less then ideal...
Weekends kill me during the week i never get this worked up...
Sorry for any typos im on my phone. Time to find a road with some curves notbing like going 100 on a bike to clear your head...
