I think the conversations seem fine to me, but it is very hard to know what kind of tone you're using. Short responses can be good, but getting the tone right is always a challenge. Sometimes it can come across as curt, especially in the beginning.

About the yin/yang comment from her - I would've avoided saying that you're trying to detach. I know it's what you're doing, but it sounds rough when you hear it. I would've gone with something like - "I am sorry to have come across that way. I know this is tough on everyone and I am just trying to figure out things."

It's not a big deal and you didn't backslide or anything. These types of responses come with time and practice. I find that I always take a short pause before I answer and that helps me to frame the meat of what I want to say. I always pay attention to the tone and how I deliver my response - just want to be calm and direct.

In the past if she tried to help you with things, did you let her? If not, then take up her offer to help you. The example you gave was a very small act and it wouldn't have had any major consequences if you let her help you.

About the other woman - I don't have much advice to give but I will give you some reflections. I think your words and actions are not matching up with her. If you talk to her about your MR and all of that stuff and then still kiss her at the end of the day, it gives the wrong impression. She can tell you're conflicted and is trying to get you out of the conflict possibly in her favour.

My personal two cents - if you're conflicted, resolve that conflict and then act. If you truly want to hang out with her as a friend, then you have to rebuff her moves and limit your one-on-one activities with her. Your inner conflict may end up hurting her if things don't go her way, and also muddy your emotions.

I think it feels easy to work out whatever you're feeling through someone who is giving you love, time, and affection because you really need that in this situation. But, at the end of the day it's at best a good distraction and at its worst, leaving many people hurt.

I am sorry if I am projecting too much of myself in this situation, but I think it would be really hard for me to not succumb to the temptation and affection that is right there - which would only complicate matters for me as I still want to be with W.

I don't know. I don't think there are simple ways of navigating this. Just do things that help you become stronger and heal - and do it without expending any feelings of a third party.


No one is coming to save you!