There will come a time with no more tears

[Treasur]

I left the house a few months ago to move to my little rented house by the sea. Our old house was always supposed to be a transitional fixer-upper (didn't quite plan on this transition!) and I never loved it. It was agony to be in alone last year because every room was full of my H and my father who renovated it with me (and died a few months preBD).

Unfortunately I am alone, Gordie, because my mother disappeared into dementia a month after BD and I have no family left. I'll ask friends for help, of course I will, but they have their own responsibilities too. Sounds a bit 'pity party' I know, but it's just the reality of my sitch.

I'm surprised at how emotional I feel actually. Probably because it is one step nearer no links between us. Which is stupid because that's what I need, but I still feel upset. My thoughts about H's reactions are just practical ones really - it's very difficult to sell a jointly-owned house with someone who won't speak to you or do the few things they need to do in a timely way. I've been trying to deal with practical stuff for well over a year and it is only recently that he will even respond to an email. And I'm SO tired of crazy.

But I am a strong practical woman. Even in our M it was usually me that did most of the work on this kind of stuff, so no change there. I'll keep telling myself that it is less about loss and more about freedom for what comes next.