Jmstl's thread-Part 3

[Jmstl]

After the park, I took the kids to a museum. Had a lot of fun with them.

On the way to drop off kids at W, D asked if I wanted to see her room. I said no. When she asked why, I said I don't want to go into mommy's apartment, because I don't live there.

Dropped the kids off, W had some things for me to take back. I had set a boundary that from now on, I will not go into her apt, and she will not come into mine.

She was sitting outside. After her typical Hi, she said "Nice Shoes!" Now, I did not know if she meant me or D, as D was wearing W's high heels to play in. I assumed it was D even though, she was looking at my feet. I just said "Yeah, D does have pretty cool shoes"

D stated out loud, while I was waiting outside that Daddy won't come in because he doesn't live here. W just said "I understand"

I was very short with my words. She asked if I needed help carrying things to the car. I said no. tried to get it all myself. She said, are you okay? Do you need to talk. I said, "No, I am fine" Then she said "You are like Yin/Yang. Some times you want to talk, sometimes you don't" I then simply responded "I am trying to detach" and she said "Ok" Then I said "If YOU want to talk, then okay"

Dropped a few things, she again asked if she could help carry stuff to the car and I finally said "Ok"

Went to Festival today with the person I went out with last week.
I had a lot of fun, but my guard was definitely up. I let her know my weekend was not the best. She understood. She was very handsy. I apologized for not being very physical, as my guard was up.

At one point she asked, "If your ex wanted you back, would you do it?" I thought for a minute, and said "I don't know. Definitely not like nothing happened. I don't believe divorce is the solution to our marital issues, but things would have to change. I would definitely have conditions, such as we each have IC, and we sit and have a long discussion about where our M started to break down, so that we could work on it" It was definitely thought provoking.

At the end of the night, I walked her to her car. She offered to give me a ride to mine, and I said "I would like to walk". She kissed me, and I kissed her back, but pulled back quick. I like her, and we definitely 'click', but my walls are up and I refuse to get hurt again. While I really wanted to be physical with her, my heart still belongs to W.

Hopefully, I am DBing decently today.