There will come a time with no more tears

[Treasur]

I think when our spouses are in crisis, particularly if they are going through some kind of MLC identity issues, normal rules don't apply, Gordie.

I'd ignore it. There's a phrase somewhere about not believing what they say and only 50% of what they do?

And tbh, while there is merit in thinking about our own contributions to our Ms, we can lose sight of 'normal too in the middle of the craziness. If your W said and acted preBD like she really appreciated your gifts, that's good enough. And any decent M is made from much more important things!