I agree with KYH and Gordie; find yourself a lawyer. There must be a division of family services that can help. And definitely document everything, save emails and texts. Be careful in what you text and email back. Keep emotions out of your correspondence and just be aware that whatever you say could end up in front of a judge. Present yourself as the clearly capable one.
Hard as this is, you need to put her on the back burner and focus on you and your kids. The child she took needs to come back with you. He cannot be her crutch through this all. He deserves a childhood otherwise the cycle will repeat. Your job is not to save her but to work to save your kids. And it only takes one parent to give a normal childhood.
A large part of our role becomes doing everything we can to prevent this from happening to our own children in the future. So that means we teach them strong coping skills & boundaries and give them the most normal childhood possible.
KYH is right. She can't just take one kid. That's insane!
Compose yourself, document and build a case to be the primary caregiver. Focus like a laser on your kids. Kids, kids, kids. You can do this!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
